Alcohol Freedom Coaching

You don’t have to hit rock bottom to know something’s not right.

Many men reach a point where alcohol simply stops making sense.

You may find yourself stuck in the familiar cycle of trying to moderate, cutting back for a while
and then slowly slipping back into old patterns.
Not because you lack the discipline.
But because willpower was never designed to carry the whole weight of change.

Real change begins with understanding.
Understanding how alcohol shapes habits, decisions and the quiet beliefs we carry about drinking.
That understanding is what eventually changed things for me.

After years of trying to control alcohol the hard way, I discovered a different path.
One based on curiosity, neuroscience and seeing clearly what alcohol was actually doing in the background.
Now I share that understanding with the men I work with.

Not as theory, but as lived experience.

Through coaching and courses inside the SoberTides Academy, you’ll gain:

• A clear understanding of how alcohol affects your brain, habits, and motivation
• Practical ways to respond to urges, stress, and social pressure
• Insight into the beliefs and patterns that quietly keep drinking in place
• Support from someone who has walked the same path and understands the process

This work isn’t about forcing yourself to give something up.
It’s about gaining the understanding and clarity to decide your relationship with alcohol consciously, rather than automatically.

For many men, that clarity becomes the beginning of lasting change.

My Alcohol story

What I learned the hard way..

My Alcohol Story
Most men have a long and complicated story with alcohol.

Mine stretches across nearly fifty years. Some parts were wild, some messy and much of it unfolded inside a culture where drinking simply felt normal.

I’m not sharing this story for sympathy.
I’m sharing it because if you’re questioning alcohol in your own life, you may recognise parts of this journey and perhaps avoid some of the detours I took.

My earliest experience with alcohol was at nine years old, sneaking leftover drinks after one of my mum’s lively neighbourhood gatherings. But drinking became a real part of my life when I joined the RAAF at age sixteen.

We were young, far from home and learning quickly what it meant to be adults. Drinking was part of the culture. It was how people relaxed, celebrated, bonded and escaped.

For a long time, I wore that identity comfortably.

But slowly, the consequences began to stack up. A DUI charge. A car crash. A motorbike crash. Broken ribs, injuries and many Mondays lost to hangovers and regret.
From the outside, later life looked solid. I was a husband, a father, an instructor and contract trainer.

But alcohol was always there in the background, waiting for the quiet moments.

Over time the losses became harder to ignore: energy, memory, clarity, and control.
I found myself topping up my wife’s scotch bottle with water to hide how much I’d been drinking, telling myself everything was still normal.
Gout arrived. Anxiety crept in. Nights turned into 3 a.m. wake-ups and weekends blurred into long drinking sessions that sometimes carried into Monday.

At one point I was building an aeroplane while slightly buzzed, then remaking parts later when I was sober enough to see the mistakes.

Eventually, in 2007, I reached my own version of rock bottom.
It wasn’t dramatic. There was no big scene.
Just a quiet, exhausted moment of realisation:
This can’t continue.

I tried to stop the only way I knew how through willpower.

I read the Big Book. I explored AA. But the label “alcoholic” never felt like it fit. What I wanted wasn’t a label. I wanted my life back.

So I stopped drinking.

For a while, that meant stepping away from a lot of the life I knew. No pubs, fewer social events, fewer laughs.

I focused on building the aeroplane I had started. I prayed to stay sober. I counted the days. I told myself alcohol simply wasn’t an option anymore.
It wasn’t easy and I probably wasn’t the easiest person to live with during that time, but I stayed the course.

Looking back, it was an emotional roller coaster.
I often felt angry and confused.

Why me? Why was I the one who couldn’t drink normally?

What I later came to understand was that much of that struggle came from a deeper belief that alcohol was something essential, something I was being deprived of.

The years passed. I finished building my aeroplane and flew it myself.

I remember one moment that stands out clearly: driving through a roadside breath test and realising I felt calm rather than afraid.

That simple moment told me something had changed.
For the first time in a long time, I felt free.

But the story didn’t end there.

The Slip, The Struggle, The Shift

After nearly nine years without drinking, a close friend of mine died suddenly from cancer.
The grief hit hard and I didn’t have the tools to process it.
Instead, my mind filled with a constant internal argument.

Part of me said I was broken.
That I had a disease.
That I would never be normal.

Another voice whispered something simpler:
"A drink would make this easier".
For two weeks that internal noise grew louder.

Eventually I gave in.

I sat alone in my shed, opened two tall cans of Stella and cried harder than I had in years.
In that moment I expected something dramatic to happen some kind of cosmic judgement after everything I had done to stay sober.

But nothing happened.

Just shame.

I kept it from my wife for weeks.
And slowly, quietly, sneaky drinking began again.
When I finally told her, it broke her heart.

Seven years and nine months of sobriety felt like it had disappeared overnight or so it seemed at the time.
And just like that, the regular drinking returned.

Almost immediately I was back in the same patterns I had left behind years earlier. The same habits. At the same volume.

I told myself I had things under control.

I convinced myself I was choosing better beer, premium Peroni instead of whatever was available before. But the stronger beer meant more alcohol, not less. 

The drinking started earlier. One carton became two.
Alcohol had quietly taken its place at the centre of life again.
Not dramatically.

Just steadily.

At one point I started calculating how much alcohol I was actually consuming each week. When I worked it out, it shocked me, the equivalent of more than a bottle and a half of whisky every week.
It stopped me in my tracks.

For a while.

But the drinking continued to creep back into everything. Home life. Holidays. Even flying the aeroplane I had built myself.
I always flew sober, of course, but even that joy had begun to fade.

Closing the hangar doors used to feel like an accomplishment. Now it felt like the countdown to the first drink.

Life had begun to flatten.
Days blurred together.
The mental fog became familiar.
A few beers in, I would find myself arguing internally.

Why am I doing this?
Why can’t I stop?

And then another voice would quietly respond:

Just give in.

This is who you are.

But something in me knew that wasn’t the full story.

In early 2021 I told my wife I needed to rediscover the mindset I had when I first stopped drinking years earlier.

So I started searching.
That’s when I came across This Naked Mind.

The ideas in the book hit me immediately. Page after page explained things I had never fully understood before.
Moments where I found myself thinking:

"That’s why."

I read the book multiple times and eventually joined the Alcohol Experiment.
At first I approached it with curiosity.
But something deeper began to shift.
For years I had tried to control alcohol through effort and discipline.

Now I was beginning to understand it.

And once things became clear, moderation no longer felt appealing.

I didn’t want more rules.
I wanted freedom.

The kind of freedom I had once felt driving through a roadside breath test without fear.
So I stopped drinking again.
But this time something was different.

I didn’t count the days.
I simply lived them.

People often assume that a slip erases everything that came before it.

But my previous years without alcohol had already taught me something very valuable, how to move through life without leaning on a drink.

Birthdays. Weddings. Christmas. New Year’s.
Even when it felt challenging, those experiences had quietly built confidence.

Today I don’t feel deprived of alcohol.

I don’t miss it.

Instead I feel clearer, lighter and deeply grateful for the life I have now.

Recently my wife and I completed two major house renovations together. Something that simply wouldn’t have happened in the same way if alcohol were still part of my life.

Looking back, the real change didn’t come from trying harder.

It came from understanding.

Once I understood what alcohol was really doing, the desire for it gradually faded.

That’s the perspective I now share with the men I work with.

Because everyone has a story with alcohol.

And sometimes, recognising your own story in someone else’s can be the beginning of change.

How this experience shaped my work as an Alcohol Freedom Coach

The work I do today grew directly out of this experience and the understanding that followed.

Today I work as an Alcohol Freedom Coach helping men understand their own relationship with alcohol so they can regain clarity, energy and choice.

If alcohol has started to feel confusing in your own life, you can start with my guide When Drinking Stops Making Sense.

What my clients have to say

Tony turned my life around. With our weekly sessions I learnt how to stop drinking and how to change my relationship with alcohol. I have a life, a good life. I no longer needed the walking frame and my wife and I have a happy relationship.


R HEARNE
I want to express my deepest gratitude to Tony for his support over these past few months. In just 3 months, I've transformed my relationship with alcohol - going from consuming 1-2 slabs weekly (2-3 drinks nightly and more on weekends) to being completely alcohol-free.
P EVANS
My drinking started as a teenager and has always been a problem for me.
Before I met Tony I was in a dark place with my drinking.
Within a 4 or 5 month period I have managed to kick this nasty habit, with the help of Tony.
I'm feeling better and thinking better for it.
Finally I'm getting my life back.
N DUNN
Working with Tony completely changed how I relate to alcohol. He helped me reframe the process, be kinder to myself and move away from the all-or-nothing mindset. I learned to treat the journey as an experiment, not a test I could fail. Through the course material and Tony’s guidance, I developed trust in myself and realised I didn’t need to rely on sheer willpower or feel like I was “giving up” anything if I wasn't drinking. I can now make intentional choices around drinking or not drinking and still fully enjoy the moment.
T ENGLISH

Words to be inspired by

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started”
MARK TWAIN

Make a start today!

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